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Guilty Pleasure: TV’s ‘Mistresses’ Is Deliciously Addictive

Published August 3, 2013 by gossipzoo

Mistresses (ABC)

Mistresses,’ ABC’s summer soap series, reminds me of the original ‘Beverly Hills 90210.’ I hated, hated, hated, HATED it. But, I watched EVERY single episode until it went off the air. Why? I still don’t know. However, ‘Mistresses’ shares that same addictive, soapy awfulness where the acting is terrible and the dialogue is wooden, but I just can’t stop watching it. It’s just plain … addicting.

‘Mistresses,’ in case you haven’t caught the terrible commercials or laughed at the one-dimensional pilot, centers on four women, who despite their wealth, beauty and egregiously toned calves, can’t stop making the WORST mistakes in their sex lives. Lawyer Savi (Alyssa Milano) cheats on her husband with her hot co-counsel (Jason George). Storeowner April (Rochelle Aytes) discovers her husband cheated on her with a two-bit Florida piece. Realtor Joss (Jes Macallan) sleeps with anything breathing. And, headshrinker Karen (Yunjin Kim) foolishly sleeps with her dying patient (John Schneider).

I don’t know why ABC didn’t call ‘Mistresses’ by its real name, female dumbasses. Admittedly, I don’t know what’s dumber, the plot, its heroines or me for continuously watching. So what makes these women dumbasses? Let me catch you up the first eight episodes.

Savi’s a lawyer who handles divorce, estate laws, and everything in between. But, when her hot, Aussie husband turns abusive, instead of shouting what you’d expect from a lawyer, she hops onto her equally hot co-counsel. Maybe I’m just lazy, but I found it unrealistic. No, not the cheating, but how the cheating happened. I refuse to believe a woman in her mid-30s who just worked eight-to-ten LONG hours and underwent a draining fight with her husband, would hop into her car to DRIVE BACK to her office at nighttime for nookie. I don’t care what Limp Bizkit says, if it were me, I’d just curl up with Jerry Springer and Ben & Jerry.

Next, on the list of female dumbasses is April, the dumbass grieving widow. Basically, a woman stalks her for WEEKS (possibly MONTHS), shows up at her house in the middle of the night, claims she’s April’s dead husband’s ex-mistress and demands half of April’s estate settlement. And, dumbass April doesn’t call the cops. Instead, she liquidates 20% of her business. When her creepy ex-husband arrives at their neighborhood in BROAD DAYLIGHT and NO ONE recognizes him, she doesn’t call the cops on him either. Instead, she ignores possible future legal repercussions (bigamy, illegal inheritance) and tells him to get the hell out of town.

Karen, the therapist, is the dumbest of all. She’s shocked her hot, terminally ill patient used her for a last hurrah and didn’t truly view her as his “soulmate.” Really?! ‘Cus that’s pretty much textbook. If I’m dying, eff yea I’m gonna make a play for the hottest person at my job. THEN, she lies to the people investigating his death, destroys her notes and THEN fakes new ones. Somehow the investigators don’t notice the timestamp for all her files read the exact same date. But, her anti-intelligence doesn’t stop there. When her lover’s creepy son STALKS her, calls her continuously, shows up at her practice randomly AND arrives at her house in the middle of the night, SHE DOESN’T REPORT HIM EITHER!!! Instead, she goes to his apartment for dinner and is SHOCKED he misinterprets her actions. GAH!!! I’m shocked someone hasn’t sold her swamp land in Florida. Do these women know how to dial 911? They sure know how to dial each other!

Joss isn’t dumb, but her love interest, Alex (Shannyn Sossamon) is. Scratch that, Alex isn’t dumb, she’s just sad. Does anyone remember ‘Kissing Jessica Stein’ (straight girl thinks she’s gay, guess what … she isn’t)? We all know what will happen, but Alex and Joss convince themselves otherwise.

Mistresses (ABC)

While the female characters are written as dumbasses, the males aren’t; but, they’re used mostly as eye candy. ‘Mistresses’ is literally a waste of hot male talent. Every single male actor I ever respected yet lusted after appears here. John Schneider (‘Smallville’)? Check. Jason George (‘Gray’s Anatomy’)? Check. Gary Dourdan (‘CSI’)? Check. Check. Remember Brett Tucker, the smarmy British investigator who hit on Beckett on ‘Castle’? Check. Check. Check. While in reality I can’t find a single man over age 10 within a 25-mile radius, ‘Mistresses’ is full of wealthy, good-looking, uber-sensitive, mostly single men who keep falling over these women.

So, why do I keep watching? I don’t know!!! It’s like old school ‘Beverly Hills 90210,’ I can’t stop rolling my eyes even as I curl up on the couch watching it. It definitely isn’t the 21st century version of ‘Waiting to Exhale.’ Outside a throwaway joke, it doesn’t analyze the complexities of why a woman might cheat, ignore being cheated on or cheat with a married man. It definitely isn’t a network version of ‘Sex and the City.’ It’s more a watered down version which portrays what everyone claimed ‘Sex and the City’ was – a celebration of wooden acting, stiff dialogue, and one-dimensional problems.

Maybe that’s why I watch ‘Mistresses’ while loathing it (and myself). The women handle their problems so unrealistically there’s no way I can relate. (Seriously, if someone blackmails or stalks you, CALL THE COPS!) With their cavernous homes housing only 1-2 people, their brightly colored clothes, their hot lovers, and their perfectly selected accessories, it’s just fantasist, escapist soapy goodness. In fact, it’s so bad, I hope ABC brings this mess back again next year. So, yea, like cronuts, ‘Mistresses’ is bad for you (but, oh so delicious).

Preview Clips From Episode 7 Of ‘Banshee’

Published June 22, 2013 by gossipzoo

Banshee Episode 7

Lucas’ cover is threatened when Carrie decides to give him over to Rabbit in an effort to protect herself and her family. Meanwhile, a drugstore robbery turns into a full-blown hostage crisis at the high school, with Deva (Ryann Shane) and Mayor Kendall’s wife Janie (Claire Bronson) among those whose lives are imperiled.

The next episode of ‘Banshee’ premieres Friday, February 22nd at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Cinemax. Preview clips can be found below:

Photo Credits: Fred Norris/Cinemax

‘Suits’ and 4 Other Unexpected Shows That Have Us Yelling At The TV

Published June 13, 2013 by gossipzoo

Suits

Tonight is the season finale of USA’s Suits, which is the best show on television. There are so many reasons to love it, like compelling characters played to near-perfection by an ensemble cast, led by Gabriel Macht and Patrick J. Adams. Then there are the plots. Courtroom drama has always been interesting to watch; that’s how we sustained twenty seasons of NBC’s Law & Order, after all. But Suits doesn’t need to have court in session to be crackling. Whether a scene takes place in the halls of Pearson Hardman or on the streets of New York, it’s good. So good, in fact, that we’ve caught ourselves yelling at Mike Ross to get his stuff together. And we’ve been chewing Harvey Specter’s ear off quite often.

Talking back to your small screen isn’t uncommon when you’re watching a thriller or an action-packed show, like AMC’s The Walking Dead or HBO’s Game of Thrones, for example. We’ll even concede it if you’re watching a tense scene in a cop show like TNT’s Southland, waiting to see if the bad guy will get caught. But who’d expect to get animated about lawyers discussing a merger?

We at BFTV searched our brains for shows that consistently get us screaming, but aren’t necessarily supposed to make you do that (sorry, Homeland and American Horror Story). They also had to still be on the air (never mind how much time we wasted telling those kids on Legends of the Hidden Temple to just put the monkey statue together already). And most importantly, they had to be programs we love.

So while you’re waiting for the Suits finale – airing tonight at 10 PM ET/PT on USA – check out our list of the hit series and four other shows that aren’t your usual edge-of-your-seat programs, but still have us yelling at our TVs.

1 of 6Next pagePhoto Credits: USA, BBC, FX, TNT, The Hub

‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Recap: ‘Hard Bargain’

Published May 16, 2013 by gossipzoo

Grey's Anatomy

Is it the end of Seattle Grace Mercy West as we know it? Not if some of the hospital’s top doctors have anything to say about it. The potential Pegasus merger forced the plane crash victims to come up with a crazy solution – pull together their earnings to buy the hospital.

The cold stormy night set the tone for the plane crash victims (minus Cristina, who was preoccupied with Owen) to meet at Meredith and Derek’s dream house about their next move. Callie informs everyone about her awful experience at Portland General, now run by Pegasus, describing the awful work conditions. It turns out Pegasus only cares about the number of procedures the doctors’ churn out, not research or innovative procedures, and fighting management gets you fired. Meredith, Derek and Callie seem to think it’s a good idea to buy the hospital, but Arizona disagrees. Derek admits to the group he made a deal with Pegasus to help the sale. When Derek backs Callie up saying she’s right, the hospital is a place they helped make and mold and it should remain that way, Arizona accuses of Derek of still being guilty about the plane crash. She explains Derek got his money, hand and career back and now he feels guilty he has to be the hero, but everything he’s done has made it worse and it’s now affecting her family.

Instead of responding to Meredith’s constant text messages about the secret meeting to buy the hospital, Cristina tries to enjoy her night with Owen. But no matter how hard the two try, the hospital’s woes interfere with their evening. Dr. Cahill keeps texting Owen that the nurses are planning to walk out, causing Owen to panic. Cristina assures him that they’re both here right now and they should just enjoy the moment.

April’s new paramedic beau asks her out on a real date, outside of the hospital, which she accepts. She later finds Jackson for advice with the paramedic because she thinks things will end with him the minute he finds out she’s a virgin. A born again virgin, that is. Jackson says she just needs to tell him the truth and she’ll be fine. The two end up going on their date and April is surprised to learn he’s also saving himself for marriage.

Alex and Jo work on a newborn patient who’s parents can’t stand one another. It turns out the baby was conceived after the two hooked up at an office party. Alex and Jo discuss their patient’s parents and if it’s really worth it to get involved with co-workers. Jo says it’s a disaster but Alex insists everyone’s different. Look at Meredith and Derek, they made it work. Their patient makes it through and Alex asks Jo out for a beer to celebrate. She declines and runs off to her date, a fellow doctor Jo’s been pining over, nickamed “Chest Peckwell,” Stephanie tells Alex. It seems that Jo was talking out about her new guy the whole day with Alex, not him.

Owen has a disasterous encounter with the nurses, who end up walking out midway through their meeting. Afterwards, Derek and Bailey ambush Owen and Dr. Cahill in the hall. Derek tells Dr. Cahill it’s not going to work for him as the new face of the hospital while Bailey questions Owen about the status of her genome mapping procedure. When Bailey retaliates against Owen, he yells that he denied Bailey, not the board. When Bailey angrily walks off, Derek decides it’s not the time to talk to Owen. He instead makes a call to his financial advisor, Stan, asking how crazy of an idea the plan to buy the hospital would be.

Bailey and Arizona work on a young patient who needs a genome mapping procedure, a test which will use the patient’s DNA to find the tumor. Bailey later asks Owen about the approval for the process, but it turns out she was rejected. Bailey, frustrated with the current state of the hospital, persuades the father to go elsewhere for treatment since this hospital isn’t that place anymore. To make matters worse, she tells Arizona that she’s mulling the decision of leaving the hospital, since it’s not the place it once was.

During surgery, Cristina is shocked to hear that the other interns are talking about taking positions elsewhere. Cristina defends the hospital (and Owen), but Stephanie assures her that she only has 5 years to get the most out of this experience and she wants to stay with the best program.

Derek, Meredith, Callie, Arizona and Cristina all take turns in a suspicious van outside the hospital to talk with Stan, Derek’s financial advisor. If they want to own the hospital, they technically can’t work there, but they can form a management company and hire themselves as doctors. Stan insists this is possible to do, but he needs a financial statement. Cristina wants to tell Owen but Meredith stops her because if he knows he can get in serious trouble.

Owen later regroups himself with Dr. Cahill, who tells him that he has a rare leadership quality. She shares that when the two first met and operated on a patient together, he made her feel comfortable. Cahill admits she didn’t become a doctor because she choked. Owen needs to reassure “his people” that something that hurts in the short run will help them in the long run. Cahill’s advice works and the nurses agree to stick with Owen.

Meredith, Derek, Arizona and Callie meet outside and agree they’re going to buy the hospital. Cristina runs out to tell everyone that the buyers from Pegasus are going to finish the sale – tonight. Before Cristina fully gives in, she asks Owen if he really believes in the deal with Pegasus. He says no, but there’s no other choice.

Grey's Anatomy

Webber later finds the mastermind behind the defaced pictures of Derek around the hospital. It turns out the culprit was Shane, who was intentially asked to do this by Derek. After Derek applauds Shane for his efforts in front of Webber, he suspects something is up. Meredith reassures Webber that as soon as they can say something, they will, but he’ll know soon.

Derek interrupts the meeting between Pegasus and the hospital board. When Derek tells Owen he’s quitting, Callie, Arizona, Meredith and Cristina follow suit, causing the Pegasus deal to fall through. Owen, angry and upset, insists he played no part in any of this. He demands for Dr. Cahill to fix this mess because he has no one left and everyone’s walked out on him. He later goes to find Cristina at Mer’s old house but she’s not home. She’s at Meredith and Derek’s house with Callie and Arizona, planning the new corporation’s next steps.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Would you like to see Derek, Meredith, Cristina, Callie and Arizona run the hospital?

‘Revenge’ Recap – ‘Union’

Published April 1, 2013 by gossipzoo

Revenge

Thirteen episodes in and Revenge’s second season continues to feel directionless. There’s a semblance of an arc with The Initiative, but, I don’t know, friends and well-wishers. What’s the point of Revenge’s second season?

The Porters celebrate a rare victory in “Union.” Jack marries the girl of his dreams, though the actual girl of his dreams is to Fake Amanda’s right and struggling not to cry. Conrad gives up the bar after Fake Amanda threatens him with incriminating video footage. Jack’s elated. His life is going just right. Naturally, the taller, angrier Ryan brother tagged along on board Jack and Fake Amanda’s honeymoon-on-the-sea to kill them. The taller, angrier brother did not react well when Conrad told him the renovation of the waterfront wasn’t happening because of certain threats. Conrad ratted out the Porters as the threats, which is ridiculous considering it is the Porters. The Porters are the Charlie Brown of Revenge. Rare victories are rare. I mean, angry Ryan brother’s going to do something bad on the boat.

The most significant part of the Porter storyline involved Fake Amanda. Fake Amanda’s a loose cannon. She overheard Jack commiserate with Declan about the wedding possibly not happening because of Conrad’s refusal of Emily’s check. Emily gave them money to buy back the bar so they wouldn’t be indebted to the Graysons. Fake Amanda broke into Emily’s computer to use to threaten Conrad, which is going to create all sorts of problem for Emily as Conrad has proof of who’s been behind everything bad in the Hamptons over the last year. I’m sure this will lead to a very tangled web that’ll take a few weeks to untangle, one that’ll circle back on itself and make me want to throw myself through a window.

Emily was unusually emotional throughout “Union.” Aiden’s all over the place emotionally as he tries to figure out the specifics of his sister’s death. You’ll recall he left Emily after the previous episode’s events. Emily feels especially alone. Jack and Fake Amanda are marrying. Memories of herself as a little girl marrying young Jack Porter run through her mind. Nolan tells her it’s okay for her to feel conflicted over what’s happening. She gave up a future with Jack for revenge. Aiden’s departure really hurts her. Aiden blames Emily for his sister’s death. Nolan cracks the mystery easily, though, after Aiden barges into the office and makes demands about it. The Initiative played Aiden for six years: his sister died six years ago. The coroner’s report confirms it. Aiden still distances himself from Emily and sends her along her way after the coroner’s report.

The strongest scene of the episode is between Aiden and Emily in the cemetery just before he sends her on her way. Emily doesn’t fight for people. The girl is cold and numb. It’s problematic when she feels for someone; however, Aiden’s different. He knows her entirely and completely. Emily cries when she talks about her deceased father and how difficult it’s been without him. Aiden accuses her of not understanding his situation, which hurts Emily. She pleads he not go. She needs him. This is her hour of need, and he leaves her. I always like it whenever Revenge shows Emily’s vulnerable side. The moment makes their next moment special. Emily’s at the wedding, crying, and she looks away to see Aiden returned to her, dressed as a character in a trashy romantic novel that’s sold in grocery stores.

Aiden and Emily’s plan for The Initiative gets screwed by the Graysons. First, Daniel detatches himself from her; then, in a nice twist, Victoria shoots Helen. Helen was a boring and bland villain. She threatened Daniel’s well-being. Victoria took action. Unfortunately, Helen’s just one character in The Initiative. There will be more, and I can certainly wait for that. Maybe the show will drop this plot thread like they dropped Jennifer Jason Leigh’s character. Also, Padma’s relationship with The Initiative is one-sided. Padma’s being used. Nolan finally lucks out with a love interest. Padma has a reason, but I forgot what the reason is the second after she stated it.

Of course stuff happens in Revenge still, but all of it seems meaningless and filler. I didn’t like the first season, but the first season had conviction in its storytelling the second season doesn’t. Characters are just moving from story to story, from twist to twist, because it’s a night-time soap, and that’s what happens in night-time soaps. There’s no urgency in the storytelling, even Daniel’s imminent danger with The Initiative lacks dramatic tension. Revenge lacks punch right now.

Other Thoughts:

-I wondered, moments before Victoria shot Helen, why no one shoots Helen. Maybe Revenge should hire me. I’ve written scripts. I wrote a Jason X spec when I was 12.

-I noticed Ashley Madekwe’s height tonight. Her height makes her more appealing. The shot of her listening in on Fake Amanda’s threats to Conrad gives me hope the series will team Ashley and Emily up to kick ass.

-Wendey Stenzler directed the episode. Ted Sullivan and another writer who’s name I don’t recall right now co-wrote “Union.” If you were wondering: yes, the theme of the episode is unions, how they form and how they disintegrate.

-Hi, Starpulse readers. If you want to read my reviews of past Revenge episodes, read them at my blog http://tvwiththefoot.blogspot.com

Photo Credits: American Broadcasting Companies, Inc

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