Brought to you by Alibi Whiskey.
In the series finale of Breaking Bad, fans watched Walter White lay dying, his criminal adventures having finally caught up to him.
Yep, Walter survived with a combination of ruthlessness and luck that would have made Tony Soprano jealous. But for all his skill in the lab, what Walter was really good at was cooking up some grade-A alibis.
As a final salute to a show we couldn’t get enough of, here are some of our favorite – and most – creative Walter White alibis and excuses from the glorious six season run of AMC’s Breaking Bad.
1. It all begins with a simple lie. Walt’s very first alibi was also his simplest – when cooking his first batch of meth with Jess in the series premiere, he tells Skylar that his boss had him working late. As we watched him cooly offer to pick up a pizza for dinner, little did we know the massive web of lies to come.
2. The Fugue State. In season two, Walt blames a fugue state associated with his cancer treatment on his absence from the family. It’s a long-shot alibi that seems to placate his wife Skylar – and keeps her from discovering that he and Jesse were actually engaged in kidnapping and murder at the time. You know, just your average Wednesday.
3. The Donation Game. Walt is crafty when it comes to finding ways to “cleanse” his ill-gotten earnings. In “Phoenix”, one of our fave episodes from Season 2, he decides to donate money to himself via the charitable website set up to aid his handicapped son. Stay classy, Heisenberg.
4. The Massive Head Wound. When Walt’s son confronts him about the massive gash over his left eye in the show’s final season – Walt tells him he blacked out and hit his head because his cancer had returned – not the truth that he had been punched out by the boy’s uncle Hank.
5. “A magnet did it!” – it’s not quite an alibi, but it sure is a quick way to remove evidence of your own guilt. At the outset of the show’s final season, Walt uses a big-old magnet to wipe clear a computer that held video evidence of his daring break in to a chemical supply warehouse.
6. “Hank did it.” In one of the greatest twists in recent TV history, Walt’s so-called video “confession” ends up turning the tables on his DEA brother-in-law Hank. It’s a virtuoso performance that chilled us to the bone – and showed just was Walt was capable of when it came to staying out of jail.
7. The gasoline incident. When an enraged Jesse douses gasoline all over Walt’s house, he has to think fast before Skylar gets home. In a little-too-detailed story, he blames a pump malfunction at the gas station for dousing his clothes in petrol – but at this late stage of the game, even his own family ain’t buying what he’s selling.